HeatherHartung

I had hoped to inherit the grace and patience of my Granny The cunning of my Mamaw And my Papaw’s resilience In my eyes, they seemed to live forever… Carrying on what those before had left behind But, you know, I built a legend around those mountain folk, one that I’m not so sure they lived But, often, it’s all that I have, all that pushes me forward to another day This old world has changed, though, and it gets me all bent and twisted out of shape So I feel the anger grow out of despondency, the crushing of my spirit... Because, sometimes, I feel as though I don’t have what it takes to be here, in this

If only he knew… Why I pace In my cage In my silence -a pillow stuffed, like a gag-deeper and harder If only he knew... How I freeze Bones frigid Insides hardened -by the walls I construct in primitive defense If only he knew… I live with a companion One who breeds suffering Loneliness-a sadistic lover -delivering a punch to the throat If only he knew… How much they hurt Those bitter words that rise up Fighting to be released-for any release- A whisper, a scream, insanity’s pleading whimper -all begging to be heard, never to be heard If only he knew… I still want to feel I’m dying to feel -when fe

If you think the stones of doubt you throw my way Will infect me with your affliction…   Think twice, villain!   Who are you to conspire such infliction   Upon one who would shine so bright?   For while the wars may always linger,   The battles are the heart,   And I will stand my ground   With more strength than you will ever know.   For unlike yours, my cause is not in vain, it is not lonely.   A multitude is beside me as I deflect the stings of your attacks.   My strength grows and I am ever brighter in my victories   As I consume your diminishing power.   Truly, only the blessed can endure   And, by the Grace of God, upon his pr

A pillar, the keystone of a structure, Strength to carry ten men.Sounds like a myth, a legend, doesn’t it? Yet, there I stood, Small as I was,With arrogance and anger feeding me. My fortitude competed with the best of them, As I plowed ahead, taking advantage of the free will afforded to me. Time and again, I met the challenges, alone Determined to make it on my own. Full steam ahead, stopping to break down many times along the way. Suddenly, the task seemed hard, too much to endure, I had lost too much of myself.And I cried, “Why does it have to fall on me?” I finally found an answer, buried deep inside. I bega

Strong and Silent With a woman's intuition I stand as more than a man Skewing stereotypes Looking at the world from the inside out. You hide your black emptiness With little white lies You fill your insecurities With grand delusions Your hate is poorly disguised By the condescending mask of superiority. I see through the cracks A reality you would rather hide Is it scary to know Your mirrors are transparent? Fear me if you want Hate me if you must Or take me as I am And I'll show you the way.

Unspoken apologies and illspent glances, Eyes downcast, we stand back to back. I'm cold, stubborn, hurt. I reach out with invisible arms, Wrap them around you. You are angry, walled up. I cave. I look for the chink in your armor. Where is your heart? Can we trade? I swallow my pride, Show you my eyes. Defenseless, I bear my own. I give it to you, Waiting for a sign. You cave. Our embrace is like heaven. I'm safe. Your heart is in my hands again. Can I keep it forever?

You got the amorphous shell, full of shattered pieces, Pieces that I barely held together with the mask of self-confidence. Little did I know when it would all come crashing down. Trying to be perfect for you, lost who I was supposed to be, Who you knew me to be. And we both suffer. Now that girl rages inside her cage, Threatening to burst out with the unrequited anger of repression. She is the scarred, jaded remainder of bad experience, Refusing to compromise with the martyr I forced myself to be And we all suffer. So the battle begins. Armed with the strength that stares down adversity, I tell that angry girl, " I will bear you

God, if you're there, I have a few things to say My will is strong I try my best I accept the unknown So, if You exist Please, appreciate me The beauty in my mind lingers on Because I've witnessed ugliness The love in my heart Lies deeper, because I've known pain I am human, who I want to be My soul is my power Pushing me forward when I am worn Allowing me to forgive when I am angry Filling me with love for my life. For that, I can appreciate You.

Some days it gets bad Some days it is worse Impossible to keep locked away for long That river of molten rage begins again Flowing hot and picking up strength I can feel the tension radiating from my body It wants to burst forth Destroy everything in my path My hands shake, my muscles quiver Jaw clenched, my throat hurts Pent up screams Threaten to pierce the air The hours pass That current of anger keeps pulling me back Again and again I hold on for dear life Maintain my sanity Just make it til night Exhausted, I sleep And dream sweet dreams

One day, a woman walked into the shop. Eve was completely out of place, with her unmarked skin. Yet, here she was to spend the afternoon getting inked for the first time. She had a playful presence, but I sensed a little fire in her, too. She laughed when I asked her for I.d., but pulled her license out for me to copy. She was amused at my surprise in realizing she was in her 70s. My curiosity was piqued; I could tell we were in for an interesting experience. Her choice was a large, bright phoenix to be placed on her left bicep. I settled down next to her and Doug, eager to hear her story. As he set up and began the outline, she explained th